11 November 2020, 19.00
Hosted by The Compassionate Friends, ONLINE via Zoom
Join Andrea as she speaks about her own journey after the death of her son James, her grief ‘toolbox’ and how she found glimpses of the ‘mourning light’.
“The aim of my talk is to give hope to others who find themselves in the uncharted territory of grief. I can affirm that, in time, it is possible for you to find a return to joyful, meaningful living, despite the absence of your loved ones. Whatever the circumstances of your loss, there is always a glimmer of light displacing the darkness and I will share my observations on ways to find it.
Being 15 years ‘along the line’ gives me the experience to know that the mourning light is attainable.
The grief toolbox is often referred to as a ‘must have’ for you to carry on your way, and I will talk about the many elements that help me as I continue to live my life with a James-shaped hole where my son should be.
Treasured memories, photographs, tangible reminders of your child – all these serve to help you to process the truly awful loss you are facing. Seek out your gifts of expression, whether they are through words or art, and utilise them to express your grief. Projects, distractions, busyness – all these items can sit in your toolbox. But it is worth remembering that sometimes you need to set aside time to live, breathe and walk with your grief. This is where organisations such as TCF are invaluable, as there is no substitute for being with others who really understand what you are going through.
Grieving is hard work and there are numerous techniques to offset the weariness it can bring; anything that raises your endorphin levels is useful.
We are each on a totally individual and unique journey. What helps me, may not help you. My path is mine alone but there are elements in it which are common to all who have lost loved ones.
There is no right or wrong, no rule book for grief, just as there is no rule book for being a parent. If through my words I can spark a mini lightbulb moment, if I can give you something to take away; to hold as hope for a future that contains your own mourning light, then my job here is done.
I look forward to talking with you all”.